Regret
by nopenopnope
Summary: Of all the horrible things Hidan had done in his life, there was only one thing he could really regret. KakuHidan: swearing, blood, shonenai


Kakuzu x Hidan pairing. That means shonen-ai/yaoi/whatever you want to call it. It is not nice. There is rude language. There is mention of gore. There are spoilers, if you don't know these two's entire storyline yet. I think that covers all the warnings.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Goodness.

* * *

Kakuzu was mean, he was stingy, and he didn't give a flying fuck about Jashin. He didn't care if Hidan wanted to stay in a hotel rather than sleeping on the ground. He didn't even take into consideration that, immortal or no, Hidan might like a hot shower once in a while.

He was a complete asshole, and, honestly, Hidan had no idea why he didn't just kill him, five hearts or no. It wasn't like he couldn't. Sure, it would take longer, what with the incredible strength, and the masses of black…tentacles? Hidan wasn't quite sure what to call them. That sounded about right…and then there were the five hearts. But really, if Hidan set himself to it, he could have killed Kakuzu.

But he never did.

Kakuzu was cold and antisocial. He didn't care about Hidan's feelings; he didn't want to hear his opinions. He didn't want to hear about his religion; he didn't want to know about how much better off he'd be if he would only take Jashin as his lord and savior. He didn't want to hear about anything that wouldn't earn him any money, or put him in the direct path of earning money.

Hidan had no idea why he bothered talking to him. But he did. He found himself telling him everything. Every little thought in his head, everything he knew about his religion and his god. Kakuzu didn't want to hear his opinions, but Hidan gave them to him freely, compelled by his silence and his complete lack regard for anything not involving money. His beliefs were so foreign, as much as Hidan hated them, as much as Hidan berated and raved at him, he was fascinated by everything that he was.

And he began to notice the way Kakuzu would at least not sew his mouth shut quite as much. He began to notice that Kakuzu would occasionally ask him a question or two, even though they both knew that he wasn't going to bother listening to the hour or so long answer Hidan had for each one. Still, Hidan liked to think that these miniscule gestures meant Kakuzu didn't hate him as much as he'd first thought. He liked to think that, because he hated to think that he liked Kakuzu more than Kakuzu liked him.

In light of these speculations, he supposed he shouldn't have been so shocked the first time it happened. It was raining. Not a romantic rain, like in the movies, not a light drizzle that made the couple standing there look ethereal and in love, and all that shit. No, it was a pounding rain. It was the kind of rain that made your skin sore. And they were in the middle of a flat expanse of _now_, with no way out of it. Hidan complained for hours, until Kakuzu finally acted. He spun him around, kissing him firmly with that strange, stitched mouth of his. And Hidan kissed back.

It wasn't soft, it wasn't sweet, and, as far as he was concerned, to call it lovemaking would be like calling Jashin benevolent. No, Kakuzu fucked like he fought. It was ruthless, painful, and as close to heaven as Hidan had ever been in his entire life. He'd never been with someone who had no reservations, who had no qualms with ripping him wide open in various place, no problem with strangling him so that he was coming and dying at the same time.

And he knew Kakuzu had a damn good time as well. Kakuzu couldn't be like this with everyone else, couldn't pull them to pieces as they fucked, couldn't relish in the crimson blood that spilled from their lips, their ass, their chest and stomach. But Hidan…Hidan needed that just as much as Kakuzu needed to do it.

And then they lay there, covered in rain, blood, grass, and mud, panting and, in the case of Hidan and his punctured lung, wheezing. That didn't stop him from smiling like a maniac. That was the first time he'd ever seen even the tiniest hint of a smile on Kakuzu's face regarding something other than money. It made him far happier than he'd like to admit to know that he was the reason it was there.

That was the beginning of the end really. He didn't have near as much resistance after that. He found himself quieting down, arguing less, oh he still put up a good front, complaining about sleeping outside and all…but he couldn't help but enjoy those nights as well. They didn't have to worry about getting blood on the walls or someone breaking in the door because he was screaming as though he was being gutted.

…They'd had to kill the unfortunate maid who came in and found that he was, in fact, being gutted…

He didn't regret fighting as much as they did. He didn't regret hurting Kakuzu, and he knew Kakuzu had never regretted hurting him. He sure as hell didn't regret the sex.

But now…now as he lay, encased in earth, his body split into several different pieces, he couldn't help but think that he did regret being so stupid. He did regret letting himself lose control, letting himself forget that, at some point, even if this hadn't happened, he'd still have ended up alone again. He did regret this massive hurt that he'd forced himself into, this pain that he didn't enjoy. Of all the things there were in his life for him to regret, he really regretted falling in love.

* * *

Edited: 10 /30 / 10

My writing has...changed, but I tried to just fix some grammatical errors and typos. There were a lot. I probably still missed some.

Review Please?


End file.
